Return of the God

Somebody knocked at my room in the morning. I hate when somebody does that, waking me up.

“Huh?” who is it?” I shouted.

“It’s me, God” he said. That guy drives me mad. He comes anytime unwarned. Its like He is everywhere!

I opened the door.

“Can you see me?” he said.

“Maybe if you stop that bright light you are emitting from your back!” I muttered. He was in Jesus outfit today.

“Oh, sorry. I'm having trouble adjusting brightness since I switched to environmental friendly CFLs”

“Huh? “ I was still sleepy “you use CFLs?”

He rushed in, without asking. I hate it. “Of course, bulbs are soo ‘last year’!”

He was frighteningly enthusiastic today.

“No, I mean, to ‘create’ light. I thought you CREATED Light.” I said as I came to my senses.

“Dude, don’t you know the law of energy? I can’t CREATE light out of nothing.” He said “they don’t teach you, like anything? Be realistic, man!”

“Hmm” I said, it’s funny how God told me to be REALISTIC! “So what about the whole ‘Let There Be Light!’ thing?

“Oh, that?” he said while he started ‘NFS: Most Wanted’ in my PC. “That is just a tagline my marketing and PR guys came up with. Helps keep the cool image.”

“Oh, ok. So what brings you here? At this time?” I said in most unconcerned voice I could.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Can’t a guy stop by to say hello?

“They only come to me when they need something. Now tell me what you want.”

“Oh that’s soo stereotypical. I expected you of all people to be a little open-minded.” God said pausing NFS: Most Wanted.

“Well, technically, I’m not ‘one-of-the-people, he he” I said proudly.

“Hmm, funny. You are very funny. I like your sense of humor.” He said. Now I was sure he needed something.

“Yeah, I know they say I have funny sense of humor. It seems redundant if you ask me. I mean, if its sense of “humor”, then it’s gotta be “funny”, right?” I said while brushing my teeth. I did those air quotes too…

“Hey that was cool. The way you flickered the Quote-Unquote thingy”

“Aw, you noticed?” I had to say, “Thanks! So how things are in Heaven?”

“In having some trouble in the FORCE”

“As in? FORCE, like in Star Wars?”

“No, no. Federation of Roman Catholic Engineers”

“Oh, what happened?” frankly, I didn’t want to know.

“I guess you could say that the FORCE is ‘Imbalanced’, ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Hmm, funny.” Trust me, it wasn’t funny. “You are thinking something, anything serious?” I said.

God looked at me and then straight out of the window, he looked and said “well, it’s just that… I don’t know if I will see you again… So I was wondering if you could tell me the meaning of life… why we are here… where things are going… what is the purpose of life…” he was sounding like old-lady-about-to-die.

“Get the hell outa here, man!” I shouted from the wash basin. “Why do you always have to ask me these questions in the morning? I can’t enjoy my day because of these questions!”

“Don’t be mad, please?” he said.

“Screw you, man! Sometimes I hope you don’t exist.” Boy, I was mad.

“Ow, don’t say that. You don’t mean that”

“Hmm, I don’t. Sorry. Please leave me alone for now. I need to use toilet and u don’t trust you alone with my PC & free Internet.”